F R A N K L Y  Z A P P A

An Unauthorized Biography by John Klein Sloatman, III.


Stats and Stories.

This chapter provides details about Frank’s family, beginning with the story of how his parents met, their marriage, and the births of their children. It includes interesting facts and stories about Frank’s childhood, school days, early musical experiences, the first band he formed in San Bernardino, and a TV pilot project that he co-wrote with his father in the early sixties. with his father in the early sixties.


Stats and Stories.

This chapter provides a glimpse into the author’s family history. It begins with the story of how his parents met in Hawaii before the bombing of Pearl Harbor. The chapter then goes on to describe their marriage and the birth of their seven children, with Frank’s wife, Gail, being their first child. Since their father was an officer in the U.S. Navy, the family had to relocate around the U.S. every two years. They also lived in London for four years, starting in 1945 and continuing until their father’s sudden death in 1967. Meanwhile, Frank’s career was flourishing.


Groupie Meets Freaky

This section of the book delves into the beginnings of Frank’s music career during the 1960s, a period characterized by hippies, drugs, and communal lifestyles. It covers his creation of The Mothers of Invention, his meeting with Gail at The Whiskey-A-Go-Go, and the foundation of his first record label, Bizarre Records.


FZ and GS Multiply and Marry

This chapter discusses the early years of Frank and Gail’s relationship, including Gail’s pregnancy and their marriage two weeks before the birth of their daughter, Moon. Frank had to leave for his first European tour a week before Moon’s birth, leaving the author, a U.S. Marine, to wait in the hospital’s waiting room. When Moon was born, the author carried her out of the hospital and took her and Gail home to start their new life together.


On the Road with Frank

In this chapter, the author describes several tours that he went on with Frank. These tours include the Grand Wazoo Tour, the Baby Wazoo Tour, and the Broadway The Hardway Tour. The author shares his experiences of the performances, cities, hotels, parties, and women that they encountered on these tours.


As Surrogate as It Gets

This book chapter recounts the early stages of Frank and Gail’s relationship. It covers Gail’s pregnancy, their sudden wedding, and the birth of their daughter, Moon, just two weeks later. Unfortunately, Frank had to leave for his first European tour only one week before Moon’s birth. This left the author, a U.S. Marine, anxiously waiting in the hospital’s waiting room. After Moon was born, the author took Gail and the baby home to start their new life together. This section highlights the crucial role the author played in supporting Gail, acting as a surrogate father to the Zappa kids, helping with carpool, and even coaching Moon and Dweezil’s little league team.


Girls in The Basement and Other Orifices

This chapter delves into the topic of Frank’s long-term girlfriends, as opposed to one-time groupies. One of these girlfriends even moved into Frank’s house, and Gail, his wife, bought a new bed for them and helped set up a home. This arrangement was highly unusual and had a significant impact on Frank and Jay’s relationship, causing it to be different from the norm.


The Studio Meets the Future

In the 1980s, Frank began using the Synclavier to create music by recording and sampling sounds, instruments, and voices. This marked a shift from analog to digital music production. It was amusing when Frank won a Grammy in 1988 for the best live jazz performance, despite the fact that there was no live performance on the album. The entire album was generated by a computer.


Gail Gets Employees

In this chapter, we will explore how Gail developed a perfect plan to take over. She was a brilliant entrepreneur who founded a mail-order company using $1500.00 of Frank’s money to sell Frank Zappa merchandise. Within a year, the Barfko-Swill company generated 1 million dollars in revenue. However, some amusing and frightening stories about Gail as an employer exist. Frank was only involved in jointly approving the product line and autographing items for fans.


GZ’s Quest for the Perfect FZ Knockoffs

This chapter describes Gail’s efforts to cultivate talented children. She urged Frank to involve the kids in his music or help them with their careers. On the other hand, Frank believed that the kids should make their way in the industry. Gail wanted Dweezil to use Frank’s studio to record his music, but Frank thought that Dweezil should work his way up like other musicians. Much to Gail’s disappointment, he refused to appear on Dweezil’s album projects. The chapter also covers Dweezil’s dismissal from MTV and the CBS TV series “Normal Life” in which he and Moon co-starred. The book also includes stories about Moon’s constant starlet attitude and her daily clashes with writers, producers Bernie Brillstein and Brad Gray, and staff. Gail even went to the set to calm Moon down. Finally, the book also explores the band created by Dweezil and Ahmet called AZ/DZ.

FZ/DC – Chapter XI

Politics Meets Its Match

This chapter provides information on Frank’s efforts to fight against censorship and record labeling, his participation in the Senate hearing in Washington regarding the PMRC, as well as his brief interest in running for the presidency. It also explores his views on the functioning of the government and the influence of religious extremists behind the scenes. Moreover, it covers his appointment by President Havel, which was opposed by SOS James Baker, and Senator Cranston’s claim that Frank had better security. Lastly, the text mentions Jay’s frisking by the Senator before entering the Zappa compound.


Tubes or Boobs

This chapter discusses Frank’s journey leading up to his diagnosis of prostate cancer. It covers his fear of surgery and treatment, the decision he and Gail made not to pursue it, and their denial of the consequences of that decision. The chapter also explores Gail’s attempts to control the situation through alternative treatments, which tragically led to a devastating outcome.


The Buck Starts Here. (“1 down 1 to go” Moon Zappa)

In this chapter, we will learn about the death of Frank, followed by his bizarre preparation in the garage and his burial just a few hours later. After Frank’s death, Gail called his 82-year-old mother to inform her of the news but did not disclose where Frank was buried. Gail went on to trademark Frank’s name and sold his music catalog for millions of dollars.

1994 to Current Day Part II coming soon

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